Friday, February 25, 2011

{Its like}..sending off your first child to college...

Today is like sending off our first child to college. {Yes} you read that right. I know my kids are only 11, 10 and 7....But today is special.
Over 6 months ago, God put a calling on our life....a calling to Love the orphans and needy children within the U.S. This burden has grown in my heart more and more each day....6 months ago, we received our very first placement. We said we only wanted {1} no more than that. We new our little family would be overwelmed if we accepted more than that. So our first placement was for {2}! Yes that is right two. Wanting to be used by God, to plant seeds, give a home to the homeless and to love the unloved....we said {Yes}... What do you think happened? We were overwelmed of course! Yes we were able to do those things...but probably not to the best of our abilities. God intervened and moved one of the 1/2 sisters to their Grandma's house. So us being down to {1} child, we were able to focus on what God was stirring on our hearts. Did we know the question would come one day "Do you want to adopt her?" Nope...didn't think that far...infact there were many days that I couldn't think past the hour I was in....But soon enough this question arose 5 months into Fostering this sweetie pie. After much prayer we simply had to say probably the hardest words ever, "NO."
Many have wondered how on earth could you say "no!" Well its not an easy decision. Its NOT one made lightly. When this blonde haired, blue eyed 2 year old looks at you and says Mommy, I love you...How do you say "no" to that? The easier decision would have been for us to say yes. But that would be "status quo" ....and that simply isn't good enough for our family anymore. We live our lives each and every day to serve our mighty, powerful, loving God. One that cares for each orphan, each person. After praying all the way up to the day she was to move to her adoptive finally hit me. I was praying God if you do not want this to be say the word, and we will look crazy, but thats okay...we will keep this little girl if it is your will. Then I realized God doesn't hide His will from us....We are diligently seeking Him asking for His will, and He only wants the best for us and Her. Peace....we were at Peace. God new He just needed to remind me that His love is greater than anything or anyone's love....And because He loves us, He is not going to play games with us....or hide His will, as if to play hide and seek. Thankful!
So as my husband, I, and our 3 kids got into the car with this sweet little girl that didn't quite know how to handle her feelings....we continued to pray and ask God for comfort for her and her new family. I had spent countless nights rocking her and telling her how much we love her...How much God loves her....That she is treasured, sacred and HIS! I'd sing her that song from Mercy Me....and she would just smile....I told her many times that this is her song. And That when you ever feel sad, that you can ask Jesus for a hug and He will hug you and make you feel happy again. Her eyes got all excited! Its so crazy because at 3 years old she understands all of this. She is super smart...and I know that the seeds planted while she was at our house will continue for a lifetime in her heart and mind. Praise God! Wow, did I get side tracked! So we got to their house and took her in, with the rest of her belongings(man did this girl have a ton of stuff!! Dropped off with us with NOTHING, and left with as much stuff as my own babies have*smile*). She immediately came in went to go down stairs...we said wait! We need one more hug...She hugged everyone and I was last. I had done very well controlling my emotions outwardly even though I was a wreak inwardly...Until...She squeezed my neck longer and harder than she had ever done....I smooched her cheek several times and Said "Desi, WE LOVE you so much...and like I always do, but who loves you more? JESUS!" We hugged her new parents, and it was all I could do to get out of the house before I literally broke down...I clung to my Jesus! My husband was so sweet and caring to try to take care of me that night and through the weekend....and I just LOVE him so much! What a gift from God he is to me. The weekend was rough for all of us...but we still new we did exactly what God was wanting. My wise husband had some words of wisdom from the Lord for me...and I just love it! HE said " Honey, just because our hearts hurt for this little girl,(and many across this country) doesn't mean she's(or any others are) just means we have the heart Jesus wants for these kids." How true. So all weekend long I kept checking my cell. Waiting for the text of everything's okay, or everything is a disaster...something, I just so badly wanted an update. Finally Sunday night I got word. Thank you LORD! Everything is going okay. Desi misses me a lot. I pray she can move on and love a new momma...but never forgets us.
Desi has come so far since she moved in with us. My husband and I are amazed at how good the Lord is to make changes in her life that make her adoptable.
Your comments are always welcomed.

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