Friday, July 11, 2014

A Humbling time in life...

Today we took temporary placement(for the weekend) of our foster son's half sisters. Yes sister(s).  One is 5 1/2 and one is 2 1/2.
This day has not gone anything like I expected.
The girls were very excited to have a sleepover at our house(I expected moaning and groaning) so excited they were bouncing off the walls...
this would actually be just after I told the hubs that these girls are not hyper. LOL.
We have had our challenges of trying to push to see how far they can run the house..which is so very much expected by any child coming into your home..muchless a foster who has bounced from houses a bit.
Nap time came around...
The oldest says "Gina! Can you do our tuck ins and high fives and hugs and kisses?"
Me "sure..just tell me how and when to do them.
Oldest "Now tuck in...
Me: tuck in...
Oldest: "Now hug...
Me: Hug
Oldest: "now high fives"
Me: high fiving to the number five.
Oldest: "now kiss"
Me: "Kiss"

This is where I started to get humbled...a little girl who I've only painted her nails a few times in our agency...and brought her a couple of little things..and picked up once from her house to take to a visit wants to hug and kiss me?
That just blew my mind. still does...

The younger ones turn....
Same routine...but the older one yells out...she doesn't like the hug I asked "do you want a hug too?"
She shook her head yes...
so I go to hug her and it was a genuine hug..with weight and heart behind it.
so I squeeze her like I would mine own...
And right then and there I'm humbled yet again...

Then after nap time...the kids went in the pool...and our bio kids rock is all I can say! They took turns caring for each girl in the pool...helping them with their floaties and googles...staying by their side...My mama heart was literally leaping with joy to see these kids step up in such a big way today.

After swimming we had to take Ez to baseball practice...and so we all went today, i thought it would be good to have the kids get out of the house and run...and play in sand.
So i drop off Ez and Tony to and grab some food through a drive through and as were heading back to the practice the older one corrects em as she say "my mom"...the older one corrects her and says "well she's our mom now too!"
YEP! humbled right again...jaw dropped...
Amazed again that these girls who have been through more than I could ever imagine and even possible for anyone to handle...are not hiding like I would be...but running to the arms of a new person who is willing to care for them properly.
Then we had a talk about skin color...the oldest asked em "why does you and your mom have the same skin color?"
I answered..."Jesus makes people in all different skin colors, shapes and sizes...and everyone is beautiful...the skin color for em and I happen to match but doesn't change how jesus see's us." She blew it off...
its okay...I pray she remembers that one day....
Then bed time rolls around....and we do our same high fives..hugs, kisses and tuck in routine...
and read a bed time story(which to be honest was rough for me, because I was tired!) and as i was walking out of the room...i just felt the need to tell them "I love you."
And once again...
I'm humbled by their response...
"I love you too! Good night!" from both girls...

I don't know all that the Lord is doing in my heart through saying yes to these girls for the it all a bed of roses? No...
Am I exhausted? Yep...
Am I overwhelmed?  A little...Not too bad...
But I know Jesus is using them to humble me...

I know foster care isn't for everyone...but what if you just said yes to a child for a weekend...and poored into their souls for a weekend...while you may think your changing them...and you may very well...think about how much is being changed in you.

Pray about foster care...Pray for the orphans...these kids in my home tonight truly are a picture of what the bibles talks about as orphans...right here in our own back yard.
okay...goodnight friends!


Saturday, February 8, 2014

Are we C.R.A.Z.Y?

Here's a little glimpse into our day....and our lives.

Well currently we have a infant (7 weeks foster son, little D) screaming uncontrollably. (withdrawals suck.)...Em has a her second half of her birthday sleep over extravaganza tonight(She had two friends over last night and 1 friend over tonight)..and they are doing foot baths with her new foot spa...picture water just about everywhere...and nail polish remover smell.
The new puppy just pooped in the carpet room again. (sigh...really?!) That scent goes nicely with the nail polish remover scent...can you smell it now? GAG!
Ny picked her nose to the point of it gushing with blood. (this is a big deal. not to be taken lightly.)
Ny also doesn't want to eat and is currently on stand off for food for day number...wait.. I lost count. Every.MEAL. really.
Little D has a bad diaper rash...and every time he poops he screams. He has super sensitive skin.
Last night little D would only be soothed by being in his swing.  I wish I could just sooth him with my heart beat...but not yet.
I've done countless loads of laundry because Little D and Ny are either puking or bleeding or pooping on every piece of clothing and blankets they own...not to mention the dog who is peeing and pooping in the house still...and no matter how many times you take him out he still continues to go where he pleases. It doesn't matter how high we put up gates...he climbs the dumb get to the carpet rooms to do his business.
We have church in the morning...I finally planned out the little ones clothes the night made it kind of easy since...
I have a huge pile of laundry folded on the ottoman and waiting to go'd think I'd just take them upstairs so I can use the ottoman but nope(they will still be there tomorrow)..I just scooted my feet up on there with the clothes.
The boys are arguing with the PS4...some nonsense about I get to be this player...and don't beat me...I don't know. I just am staying out of that room right I'd have to try to walk over the cushioned chairs that are laying on there side to keep puppy in that room...which doesn't actually work..since the dog stands higher than the chairs..but hey they get a B for effort.
We are currently homeschooling. ya. What was I thinking?
Tonight for dinner...we ordered take out. I really didn't want to...but the ease of it won me over. I thought okay, I will make myself something healthy while the rest of the family eats "woof woof, meow meow"...but my lack of sleep and hungry took over and I caved and had chicken fried rice. Now my stomach is mad at me.
My cell phone is shattered beyond belief...and finally decided to upgrade today when we were at the store...well we start the process and they need some last four digits of the primaries my sister in hubs calls his answer...we decide okay we will come back...then his brother calls back and give him that we proceed with the upgrade...get through a little more and realize i didn't finish my iCloud back up. Sales man offers to back it up on iTunes. okay. great. He does the back up. The kids are starting to get restless....I am starving...these late night feedings for the little D are making me hungry throughout the day...dang it! So I go take the kids on a walk..come check on the hubs..and now they need some pin number(WHAT? good grief!)...again...hubs has to call his brother. This time he doesn't get back to us in time. So we leave. I'm dying...sugar levels low...patience level very patience level extremely low...yep its time to go!
Hubs says so where do you want to eat...I said the very first place available! Well that would be McD's. Which I'm not a huge fan of...but well I'm crashing fast and I said no problem get McD's I'm going to go inside to make Little D's go through drive through for food...and as I start to shut the door...I yell "DON'T FORGET MY DR. PEPPER!" The look on the hubs face was priceless...He said "okay?!" I explained i've tried to have Dr. Pepper 3 times this week while out and about at various drive throughs only to be disappointed with Diet coke or Diet Dr Pepper...Maybe I should be taking it as a sign...but nah...
So now I'm probably higher than a kite with all the fumes going through this house...the boys are playing sting pong...and I'm hearing ouch...and screaming from the ping pong/dining room table...the baby is still screaming and the girls are trying to chat at me about their nails...I keep smiling and nodding...and I'm trying to drink some Awake Tea so that I can spend a few minutes tonight with my man.
So thankful for my man. Tonight we hugged each other in the midst of all this chaos and said to each other we will get through this...we will.
So are we crazy? New puppy...New baby...2 year old (need I say more?) two teenagers and a newly double digit girl and homeschooling...what was I thinking...
While most days feel so also feels so right...
I pray the Lord breaks the pattern of these foster babies lives and shows our kids how to love the sometimes unloveable...and continues to work in us what He is right now...and that our hearts would be sensitive to His spirit.

Oh and one last thing...
I've given up on having a perfect house right if you come by you may see unswept floors..and laundry..and bottles lying around..and you'll see little D's clothes on the piano as we have no dresser for him yet...This is a big adjustment for me...I like a pretty clean house..but this is a season and I'm trying to embrace it in a way that is pleasing to Jesus...I'd rather be a Mary than a hopefully through the more messy than I'd like you will find hearts that aren't messy...with love and warmth and coffee.

Living by GRACE!

Tuesday, November 19, 2013

If you really wanna know...

I could not have written this post better myself.
This is where I'm at...

Dear (Foster) Momma of a Stranger’s Child,
I talk to you often in the work I do.  I hear you say, “We want to hang in there”, or “We are doing the best we can”, and even, “I don’t know if I am up for this.”  I hear these words through your shaky, weakened voices.  But, what I really hear is you saying, “I don’t want to be another mother who disregards this child”, or “If I could, I would provide this child with every ounce of my being in order to heal him or her.”
You are walking in very heavy shoes.  You are feeling as though your efforts are disregarded, don’t matter, don’t work, and will be forgotten about in the fleeting moments of a day.  I’m here to tell you, they are not disregarded.  They do matter.  They work, and they will never be forgotten.
Dear Momma of a Stranger’s Child, you are one of the bravest mothers of all.  You’ve ventured into the murky waters of loving a child whose hurts seem like they could go on for an eternity.
You, dear Momma of a Stranger’s Child, you are a broken-hearted warrior.
You hear from others, “You are doing a good thing”, “I could never do what you do”, or “Your faith is bigger than this.”  While you hear these words of comfort and affirmation, your heart is screaming in that silent, lonely place of wondering if you really are doing a good thing, if you really should be doing what you are doing, and if your faith really is bigger than this.  You, dear Momma of a Stranger’s Child, you wonder where God is in all of the hurts put on children in His world.

Go here to finish reading the rest of this blog see where my heart is right now.

Sorry I've been so mia. Hopefully I can get back to blogging soon...


Saturday, September 28, 2013

Birthday..a heart change

Niylah's birthday was on Thursday. 

I planned a special lunch out..then a trip to target to let her pick out something special on her special day, with a special lunch dessert...and a homemade birthday cake.
This plan didn't work out so well.
Lunch she barely wanted to eat..not a big shock. Our trip to target meant nap would be very late..ya not my finest mom choice...
Here's what it looked like...
everything I planned to buy her she told me to put back after a minute of playing with it..then when I wasn't paying enough attention that she was done with this one toy she then repeatedly tried to kick it out of the basket and spilled my coffee[here is where I really wanted to cry! Since I don't get Timmy hohos very often anymore]. So I was like okay. Time for our afternoon birthday dessert. I'm a firm believer in lots of sweets on your birthday. We headed over to the target cafe and got ice cream for everyone. Which was great until it was gone. Then you would have thought I just took her food away to be mean...but I'm sorry sweetie you can not eat the paper carton of your ice cream.
Headed to the check out with a 1.00 spot book..for her gift. I really wanted to buy her something she'd really doc mcstuffins toys or Dora toys or Mickey. But she kept telling me to put them back. So finally I just grabbed a Dora book from the dollar spot and figured we make her room super cute with a tree and some other wall decorations.
The evening went a little better. Ran to the store to get a few things for her cake and she saw a Dora birthday balloon. So I bought it for her since it's her birthday and all...told her to keep it on her wrist...she was so happy. Until we walked out side then she decided she didn't want it anymore and took it off her wrist and let it go. sigh. She enjoyed her cake...well sort of. She actually blew out the candles..which at her party she didn't. Then when I got her a piece of cake she kept saying "all done", then as soon as I'd start to clean her up she'd be like "no!" 
Poor thing was very confused. As was I.
She is sweet and sassy. Mostly sassy. But one day I have faith that she will be more sweet than she is today...and praying she loves Jesus more than anything or one in this world...although I would be okay with coming in a close second. ;)

To be honest I went to bed on her birthday kinda disappointed. I really wanted to make the day special for her. It seemed every attempt was squashed. I prayed that The Lord would be blessed that we tried even though I was disappointed.

Fast forward to today...
Tony is coaching football this year. There is this sweet boy on his team.
His innocence is a blessing. He made his first tackle last Saturday and while the kid was on the ground he panted the boy on the chest and said he was sorry for tackling him. Then came to my husband and said "coach I told him I was sorry for tackling him". I mean seriously I just wanted to cry over his tenderness! My husband said "you can say your sorry anytime as long as you tackle like that all the time!" He had a big smile on his face. So cute!
This boy lives with his aunt..along with a few other cousins. 
Yesterday was his birthday. 
Our football mom made him a cake. His cousin walks in (who lives with him) and says what's the cake for? They say it's your cousins birthday. He said it is?! Runs out to wish him a happy birthday before he comes into practice. 
This broke my heart. 
I pray it's because they were going to celebrate as a family today and that's why his cousin didn't know. I have a feeling it's because birthdays aren't such a big deal. Which kills me as a mom. Because we go over and above on birthdays because it's time to celebrate! And be thankful for the life given to us!

Now I think back to all the "try's" for Niylah's birthday..and wish and pray that would be the same effort for this boy. Now to do some shopping for this boy. Pray he feels blessed and special by his coach getting him a birthday gift.  I just want to squeeze him and tell him he is loved and throw him the biggest party ever!
He was very blessed by the cake for his birthday. And the team gave him a team sweatshirt. So thankful for these football moms! Wish I would have known earlier...but so thankful for them!

Happy birthday Niylah and James!
You are loved...treasured and chosen!


Friday, September 13, 2013

Yay for Friday!

Today was a really great day.
The kids are homeschooling and I'm really excited about the time we get to spend together during the day.
I do notice though that come 9pm I'm ready for them to go up to their rooms.
Half of me feels guilty for that and the other half feels like I'm still enjoying them and our day, it's just time for the hubs and I.
So while the kids are doing homeschool today I was working on homemade play dough. 

Ny's birthday is coming up super in two days and tomorrow I'm completely busy the entire day so today was the last day before paarttay day. 
The play dough is for the paarttay. It's our little thank you gifts.
And as I was making the play dough while the kids are schooling at the island...we had the screen door open to let in some fresh fall air. Friends the high for today was 58! I'm mean what in the world?! This week one day it was 91! Sheesh! I think Michigan has lost it's marbles!

Anyway because of the nice chill in the air
I decided to light my newer candle. Isn't it so cute?! The flavor is pumpkin! Yum!

And well to finish the nostalgia my son sent his daddy a text and said "dad! Moms listening to Christmas music!" And my sweet, loving husbands response was "save yourselves!" Lol
Yes I was listening to Christmas music!
I love christmas music. And if I didn't have a ton of things to get done I would have put up my fall decorations....but that is going to have to wait until next week.
I still have a blog post to get up about our trip to California and I will get one up of Ny's party too. Soon. I hope :)


Wednesday, August 28, 2013

We have been matched friends!

Friends we have been matched for a baby due nov 4th.
But now there is a mad dash for 1/2 the money upfront! Please click the link below to read more of the story and donate if you feel lead. Please pass along!
Thanks guys!

Friday, August 9, 2013

Just some this and that...

We've really enjoyed this summer.
I love the time I've been able to spend with my kids, some one on one time, a lot of all of us together time.
Some together time...I love this boy!
I think his exact words were, how do you girls wear these things???!!!

We've had one big baseball season just come to an end. I'm thankful he got to play, but boy am I thankful its over. He played well. He played a year above his age level. I think he competed well.
And just in time to head into football season.

We've been teaching our newest addition how to love, how to treat one another. How to do simple things such as eat a meal, to try to use words. Its been a constant, continual process, but we are seeing small, very small improvements, which I am thankful for. Being a mom is such a joy. Even if there are days I feel like the biggest failure or like I don't have a clue as to what I am doing...I still count it a blessing and a joy to be a mom to however many the Lord chooses to give us...birthed or not, short term or long. I pray that my heart would be pleasing to the lord as a mom.

I've also done a little sewing this summer.  I was hoping it was like riding a bike....and it was. YAY!

And as I was sleeping one night...asking the Lord for wisdom...He gave me this verse...I woke up and was like, okay remember that verse. I actually got up the next morning and was just so encouraged that the Lord would give me a verse while I'm sleeping...just to encourage me.

Hope your last few weeks of summer is great.
We are headed to California soon. Can NOT Wait to see my Brother, Sister, Nieces and Nephews!