Many of you... friends and family have traveled this short road with baby boy in tow of our family for the last 2.5 months...
Man how you can love someone so fierce in that short amount of time. I know this is the Lords plan. To love him somthing fierce. My heart at times wonders why? Why we have learned to love so much, so crazy and then to take it away...Part of me says its prep for Africa...part of me says its part of him teaching us to truely love with no strings attached...and part of me says its what he has wanted all along...do you think you could look after the orphans and widows like it says in james 1:27 without LOVE? After "looking after" baby boy for just the short time we did...I know its just NOT possible. Not for me anyway. Not for my Sugar Dumplin either. Nor for my kids...
The Lord constantly amazes me with his word. It seems to really minister to me right where I am at. This week in a bible study at home with a friend... Its right where I'm at. Having faith in God. Not man. Having faith when we pray...not doubting Gods promises!...
James 1:5-6 says
If any of you lacks wisdom let him ask of God, who gives to all liberally and without reproach, and it will be given to him. But let him ask in faith, with no doubting, for he who doubts is like a wave of the sea driven and tossed by the wind.
[see that doubting thing...thats where I really struggle!]
And what ministered to my heart in my footnotes...
[It , wisdom, begins with genuine reverence for God and a steadfast confidence that God controls all circumstances, guiding them to His good purposes]
I reminded the kids last night as they were sad...and crying because they love him so...that We are just a vessel...but God is the one who is actually looking over Senny. Its not in us to be able to care for him the way we have been...But Jesus who works through us to accomplish his will for Senny...And then I asked them..."now do you think that God is going to take His hand off of Senny's life, just because He is changing homes?" Thankfully they sincerely understood...And dried the tears up...and was able to fall asleep without any problems.
back to our study....David's decision not only affects him...It affected the whole town. I've really been pondering this lately...because Tony and my decision to take Seneca and really any child doesn't just affect us...It the kids, My parents, his parents, grandparents and friends...After much thought and prayer...I believe its What God has for our family...My kids are learning to love selflessly[as am I !]...they get nothing in return...except for maybe a smile or two from a baby they've never known before......but they for sure get the opportunity to LOVE unconditionally. and for that I'm grateful to the Lord for.
Friends and family...I'm sorry if this is hard on you as it is on us...But I know God is birthing in us something He desires.
You all have blown me away with your love and support...every Facebook or text saying your praying for us makes me cry all over again...because the Lord is so good in great friends that LOVE.
Your generosity in letting us borrow so much baby stuff the week we brought him home still overwhelms me.
The fighting over who he loves more...is such a blessing to me to hear and see...its as if the Lord has breathed fresh air into our hearts with your love. Thanks friends and family...
And as I posted in my pics on Facebook...I hope to do it again really soon [please Lord!]
And to end with my prayer for my little man....
Lord nothing has changed...As we did almost a month ago, we leave Senny's life in your hands...knowing you created him...you love him something fierce more than me...I'm amazed by that thought...Thank you for letting us have him for the time you did...thank you for letting us love him...thank you for teaching us to love him even while he was angry and detoxing...thank you that you have brought him through most of that...Lord thank you for the opportunity to be used by you! We pray protection, and honor and praise on Sennny's life...we ask for your loving kindness to always be extended to him...protect his mind and heart from being anywhere but right next to you...the safest place to be Lord....We ask Lord if it be your will to bring him back to us permanently...we ask your will be done only Lord! You Lord gave and you Lord have taken away...blessed be your name Lord.