My friends...you all are too sweet. Your encouraging, and that's a blessing to me...but you should know..the things you say about me...all those kind words are not me.
I struggle with being kind and sweet and loving...
Everytime I think I might have this life thing figured out...I just seem to fail more and fall flat on my face...
I try to do the right thing...but lately it all seems to come out as its wrong.
I know we shouldn't ever think we've got this...and I rarely ever actually think that...but honestly there are times that I think it...and then by gods grace he reminds me of who is in control and really has this thing called [life] figured out.
See friends..I just want to be the best...not because of my pride and the thanks or good job...but because I want to do the best to please god...my husband...my family...my ministry...see pleasing them in that order is my heart...but it never is conveyed to those people...it always seems that I disappoint or fail...
I don't know how to change my ever failing ways...
But I trust god even when I feel like this.
On the way to church this morning I heard a song in the car..here's a small glimpse of the song....
"Oh god your near...in my searching your near...you'll never leave my side"...
It's by citizens and the song is called oh god. Beautiful. Written just for me in case you were wondering.
Literally brought me to tears..
To think this world wants to tear us down and yet god..wait scratch that...Jesus himself is near to me. He's fond of me..even when others may not be he loves. He loves like I should...like I want to...
So today while I continue to fail at this thing called life...I will remember He's always by my side!
Love,
Gina
Ps sorry if this post is a little down...I'm real...and I've just been feeling this a lot lately and just thought my friends should know who I am...a girl in need of grace..fo sho ;)
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