Monday, July 8, 2013

open my eyes..

Tonight. As my big girl and I were on a walk. I had worship music in my iPhone and em had music on her iPod and we set out on foot. I tried to convince her to ride but she wanted to walk with mama. Okay but we gotta go fast. She agreed to the terms.
As we're 1/4 the way through. The big girl started getting tired and complaining of her legs hurting. I think she gets shin splints. Poor thing. So I stop give her some water, tell her to turn up the music on the iPod, that it helps to distract and encourage her that walking/running is very much a mind thing...if you can get past your mind telling you to stop you'll do just fine.

So she keeps running/walking and she's ahead of me and I have a worship song on my iPhone and I just feel the nudging to pray for me to be the best mom I could possibly be for her. That I would meet the needs her heart and mind know what I'm talking about, when you need to chat but don't know who to chat with...that I would be available and sensitive to her..and then The Lord leads me to pray for my heart for her brothers. That I would be the best mom I could possible be for them.

Jesus here I am. Use me. Lord let me be the best mom to these 4 babies and any other babies The Lord chooses to give us. 

Then I felt The Lord speak to my heart again... Ive asked The Lord several times why he moved us an hour away from where we go to church and have friends. And as we were walking I felt the lord say "this is why. Your heart was not  prepared the way I wanted because your focus was different. you filled your days with distractions. Moving an hour away from all those distractions changed your heart. You desire to be the best wife now, with your husband in mind before yourself or your friends. You desire to be the best mom..not best worldly..but best for each kids needs. Your heart desires to please me now. You trust me which means You now trust your husband. You let him lead your family, where you before would have stepped in because you did not trust him. You hear from me. You seek me. You have changed." 
And my heart sang worship to the father. Because now I know. 
And I said "lord here I am. Use me. I am yours."

Tid bits from my heart tonight.
So thankful!
BTW she walked 4.2 miles per hour. YAY EM!

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