Monday, March 12, 2012

oh baby...

This past Sunday we had baby boy dedicated to the Lord.  This is something the Lord layed strong on our hearts.  Especially if he is to leave our family to go with his family.  I wanted his life to be dedicated to Him...
I wasn't prepared to be so emotional.  But as the pastor spoke before hand that we wanted to dedicate him before he went to his grandma...i started to feel emotional.  I was like...whoa.  slow your my man prayed over this baby boy and then the pastor...the tears were fierce.  i did my best to hold them in.  This little man is so special in so many ways...not only is he sweet even if he does like to throw some crying fests my way...and my love for him is my own babies...but he has helped answered many questions in my heart.  Could we ever adopt?  Could we love another child as our own?  Could we fulfill the calling God has placed on our family and still go to Africa this summer[another calling on our lives].  All with the answer of yes. 
So as we gave his life over to the Lord asking God's hand on him always...we still continue to pray YOUR will be done Lord in this situation. 
I'm sure many are wondering what if it doesn't work out with grandma?  They will call us first.  And yes we will take him back.  Is it a guarantee that he is going to be with Grandma?  Not yet...we can not get a hold of our DHS find out if the home study was approved or not. 
I asked my husband...honey what was the point of having this sweet little guy only a month?  His answer "
42 And whoever gives one of these little ones only a cup of cold water in the name of a disciple, assuredly, I say to you, he shall by no means lose his reward.” Matthew 10:42

Not that we do this for a reward..but it blesses the Lord.  That is why.  
So thankful for his Biblical answer!

Today as I took baby boy to see his mom...I was early and praying for the visit...the Lord lead me to this scripture.. 
 praying always with all prayer and supplication in the Spirit, being watchful to this end with all perseverance and supplication for all the saints and for me, that utterance may be given to me, that I may open my mouth boldly to make known the mystery of the gospel, for which I am an ambassador in chains; that in it I may speak boldly, as I ought to speak. (Ephesians 6:18-20 NKJV)

I was so thankful for this.  The Lord new exactly what I needed today.  Took him to see His there a little early.  As she walked in she was already irritated.  I was not surprised..but said good morning and showed her her baby boy.  She asked for our case worker and then walked away with him.

As I headed out to the car, i passed by the room...and the mom with her newly done hair and nails was picking at her nails instead of paying attention to her baby boy.  I couldn't believe it.  I left in tears.  I called my husband and in tears said I don't understand.  He asked me what is wrong.  I told him, i don't understand how someone who hasn't seen her baby in 4 days could not be bothered with him.  I don't understand how he has to leave our car and go into some other situation that is unknown when we love him so much.  I don't understand why she is his mother?  My husband comforted me...with gracious words...I hate calling him in tears.  I hate crying.  i cried out to the lord and said once again...Lord your will be done.  
Please family.  pray with me.  pray that something changes with this situation if its God's will.  pray that this moms heart is softened.  pray that she learns how to love.  pray for me.  
I'm thankful for where the lord has taken me and softened me towards this mother...but still so difficult sometimes to understand.

The Lord after the visit opened up opportunity to share with a case worker why we do this.  Why we love these babies even if we have to give them back. to love them something fierce even when mom hates.  That its only by the grace of god none of us have traveled down the same path this mom His grace we are saved.  [so thankful for that!]

So here's to another week with baby boy and my awesome kids and amazing husband...thank you Lord! 
Have  a blessed day friends!

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